STEP 9

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Definition of Step Nine – Love: a strong feeling of affection.
Synonyms of Step Nine – Love: fondness, tenderness, warmth, attachment, etc.

These notes are from recovery in AA and/or related 12 step programs.
Readers are encouraged to click external links for more detail.
We hope you find them helpful.
Love in fellowship.
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Step 9: Made direct amends to such people, wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. | More…

Friends and amends. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple, we admit our part, and leave it at that; the rest is out of our hands.–Just For Today | More…

We want to be free of our guilt, but we don’t wish to do so at the expense of anyone else
One way to insure that we do not is by working the Ninth Step responsibly –Just For Today | More…

Indirect amends may be necessary where direct ones would be unsafe or endanger other people we are making our communities better places to live by carrying the message of recovery to those we encounter in our daily lives. –Just For Today | More…

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When
we take the Ninth Step, we must be willing to be absolutely honest. We must hold nothing back through deceit and pride; we may need to hold something back by discretion and consideration of others. –A Day at a Time | More…

Just when and how we tell the truth – or keep silent can often reveal the difference between genuine integrity and none at all. –A Day at a Time | More…

May I have the wisdom to know the fine-line difference between tact and dishonesty. All forms of dishonesty and hark back to the role-playing days of my active addiction. –A Day at a Time | More…

Much the same approach will apply at the office or factory. We shall at once think of a few people who know all about our drinking, and who have been most affected by it.

But even in these cases, we may need to use a little more discretion than we did with the family. The generous response of most people to such quiet sincerity will often astonish us. Even our severest and most justified critics will frequently meet us more than halfway on the first trial. –12 & 12 p.84 | More…

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We
take time to get our egos and our ideas out of the way.  In that clear space, we improve our conscious contact with the source of our daily recovery, the God of our understanding.

Meditation being new (to us), took time and practice.
But, like all the steps, it worked—when we worked it. –Just For Today | More…

Sometimes we say we’re getting our lives together.
Together with what? With our selves.

The Twelve Steps help us clean up the mess we’ve made.
We’re fixing our mistakes.

We’re looking at ourselves closely—at what we believe, what we feel, what we like to do, who we are. We’re asking our High Power to help us to be our best. –Keep It Simple | More…

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Coming into what is clearly a spiritual program, we may have been fearful that our own unworthiness would hold us back. We may have believed that a spiritual life and a “conscious contact” with God are reserved for a few people with saintly qualities.

What we must know is that the spiritual life is every person’s right. It includes the human qualities that have brought our greatest progress.

“The spirit of the thing” is an ordinary phrase, but it expresses the presence of a Higher Power in our lives. What’s most useful to know is that we can contact our Higher Power at any time, in any place.

This can be extremely important when we are in very bad situations. We always have a Higher Power to pull us through and to set things right in our lives. That’s our birth-right as human beings. –Walk in Dry Places/Mel B. | More…

The man who hears our amends is sure to be impressed with our sincere desire to set right a wrong. He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in talk of spiritual discoveries. –As Bill Sees It | More… (p.187)

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We need to forgive so we can heal. Forgiveness means not wanting to get even. Forgiveness means letting go of self-will.

When we forgive, we give our will to our Higher Power.
When we forgive, we make room in our heart for our Higher Power.

This is how we heal.
This is why forgiving is so powerful for us. –Keep It Simple | More…

We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves.
We gain a deep sense of satisfaction from making our own amends.

Just as we would feel after we’ve cleaned our homes and have time to enjoy a bit of sunshine through sparkling windows so will our spirits rejoice at our freedom to truly enjoy our recovery. And once the big mess is cleaned up, all we have to do is pick up after ourselves as we go along. –Just For Today | More…

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When we start the Ninth Step, we’ve reached an exciting stage in our recovery. We have the opportunity to make amends—to acquire freedom from the wreckage of our past.

Everything we’ve done so far has led us here. At this point in the process of our recovery, the Ninth Step is exactly what we want to do.

With the Twelve Steps and the help of a Higher Power, we are clearing away the rubble that for so long has stood in the way of our progress; we are gaining the freedom to live. –Just For Today | More…

When we go to a person and say we are sorry, the reaction we get is almost invariably good. It takes courage to make the plunge, but the results more than justify it.

Each new day is another opportunity to serve God and improve your relationships with other people. This should bring joy. Life should be abundant and outreaching.  –24Hours  | More…

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Many people we’ve harmed ask only that we don’t repeat our mistakes.
Respect their wishes.

Step Nine has healed many wounds.
Step Nine allows us to grow up.

Step Nine helps us regain faith in ourselves.
Remember, the best amend we make to all is to stay sober. –Keep It Simple | More…

Some of the most meaningful amends we can make for the mistakes of our past are made simply by acting differently today. Being human, we will continue making mistakes; however, we need not make the same ones over and over again.

By looking over our past and realizing that we have changed and grown, we’ll find hope for the future. The best is yet to come. –Just for Today | More…

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… except when to do so would injure them or others. – Second half of Step Nine. We have to be careful when we make amends.

At times, this means not making direct amends.
Sometimes, it’s better to make some other kind of amend.

Remember, Step Nine means we’re responsible for our actions.
In recovery, our actions can be healing.

Healing takes place when we love ourselves and others.
And love is what heals us.–Keep It Simple | More…

If you have behaved badly, repent; make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean. –One Day At A Time | More…

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Made direct amends to such people wherever possible,. . . . .
Some people are untraceable, and direct amends to them are not possible.

The only amends I can make to those untraceable individuals, the only “changes for the better” I can offer, are indirect amends made to other people, whose paths briefly cross mine.

Courtesy and kindness, regularly practiced, help me to live in emotional balance, at peace with myself.  –Daily Reflections | More…

When we go to a person and say we are sorry, the reaction we get is almost invariably good. It takes courage to make the plunge, but the results more than justify it.

Each new day is another opportunity to serve God and improve your relationships with other people. This should bring joy. Life should be abundant and outreaching.  –24Hours  | More…

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A number of alcoholics become estranged from members of their family. Sometimes these estrangements continue into sobriety and fester as a source of resentment.

Where estrangements have occurred, we are always responsible for any wrongs on our part. Honesty will be our guide as we look carefully at any estrangements in our lives. –Walk In Dry Places/Mel B. | More…

We are continuing to remove the barriers that can block forward sober growth. We are getting ready to sweep our side of the street clean.

We are learning to become accountable while making amends to those people we have harmed. We are practicing new behaviors by facing our wrongs, so it is important to have this self-discipline.

We are trying to try to correct our wrongs through action, not just words. We stay close to our sponsor during each amends to stay focused and disciplined. | More…

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Bill W. considered each step to be a spiritual principle in and of itself. The most important of these is Humility.

Core Spiritual Principles of the Program:  Willingness, Open-mindedness, Honesty.AA’s Code:  Love and Tolerance of Others

The Principles of the Twelve Steps

Step One:            Honesty
Step Two:           Hope
Step Three:         Faith (Surrender)
Step Four:          Courage
Step Five:            Integrity
Step Six:              Willingness
Step Seven:        Humility
Step Eight:         Brotherly love
Step Nine:          Discipline
Step Ten:           Perseverance
Step Eleven:       Awareness
Step Twelve:      Service (Charity)

The relative success of the A.A. program seems to be due to the fact that an alcoholic who no longer drinks has an exceptional faculty for “reaching” and helping an uncontrolled drinker.

The heart of the suggested program of personal recovery is contained in Twelve Steps describing the experience of the earliest members of the Society.

The five principles of the Twelve Step Program are; membership requirement, spiritual basis, personal inventory, restitution, and helping others. | More…

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Only one consideration should qualify our desire for a complete disclosure of the damage we have done.

That will arise where a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we are making amends. –As Bill Sees It | More… (p.277)

Making amends is a good way to have the last word! -Walk Softly / Mel B.
We can never fully recover, no matter how long we stay clean. –Elders Meditations

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