Definition of Self-pity: excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles.

Synonyms of Self-pity:
blues, dejection, depression, desolation, sadness, etc.

These notes are from recovery in AA and/or related 12 step programs. Readers are encouraged to click external links for more detail. We hope you find them helpful.

Love in fellowship.

Self-pity is a parasite that feeds on itself. The attitude, “Why me?” hints at the little compassion we generally feel for others’ suffering.

Our empathy with others, even our awareness of their suffering, is generally minimal.
Recovery is learning new responses, feeling and behaving in healthier ways.

Self-pity need not catch us. We can always feel it coming on. And we can let it go. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

One of the best ways to get out of the self-pity trap is to do some “instant bookkeeping.”
For every entry of misery on the debit side of our ledger, we can surely find a blessing to mark on the credit side –A Day at a Time | More…

Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows
because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford. –Bill W., Letter, 1966 | More…

Some days we grasp at self-pity like a blanket on a cold night, and we are momentarily comforted. Our self-pity prevents us from carrying a message of hope to fellow sufferers, that they too can find release from their suffering through the Twelve Steps.

Staying clean and sober are gifts available to all of us when we cultivate gratitude. We can be grateful for this program that has brought manageability and serenity to our life, and that leaves us little room for self-pity, anger, or impatience.

Our mind will be willing and open to receive God’s guidance and support when we let go of our self-pity. –In God’s Care/Karen Casey | More…

“Ah, poor me,” we sometimes say, “I have to work so hard!” “I have so much stress!” “If only my problem with money would get better, then I could be content!” This attitude of self-pity is as ancient as humanity.  –Touchstones | More…

A complete life is the life of a child. When I am fully conscious of my awareness of Christ, there is something wrong. It is the sick person who really knows what health is.

A child of God is not aware of the will of God because he is the will of God. When we have deviated even slightly from the will of God, we begin to ask, “Lord, what is your will?”

A child of God never prays to be made aware of the fact that God answers prayer,
because he is so restfully certain that God always answers prayer. –Oswald Chambers | More…

Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I take an ever bigger dose. –Daily Reflections | More…

How do we stop self-pity? Focus on someone else. When we really want to help someone else be happy, we’ll ask our Higher Power’s help. –Keep It Simple | More…

Allowing self-awareness to continue, slowly but surely, awaken self-pity, and self-pity is satanic. –Oswald Chambers/My Utmost for His Highest | More…

Self-pity is a tool of our disease
We need to stop using it and learn instead to use the new tools we find in the program. Many tools are at our disposal in the program, self-pity is displaced by gratitude. The surest way to become grateful is to take advantage of the help available to us in the program –Just For Today | More…

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