RESENTMENT

Definition of Resentment: bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
Synonyms of Resentment: bitterness, indignation, acrimony, animosity, hostility, etc.

These notes are from recovery in AA and/or related 12 step programs.
Readers are encouraged to click external links for more detail.
We hope you find them helpful.
Love in fellowship.

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Resentments are like stray dogs: If you don’t pet them, they will go away. –Sandi Bachom | More…

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. –Carrie Fisher | More…

Resentment is just another name for anger. When I begin to take positive action, I find myself letting go of those friendships which are unhealthy. —One Day At A Time | More…

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When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person  by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. –One Day At A Time | More…

Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else –Big Book p.64 | More…

Hurt feelings are a part of life, relationships, and recovery. Resentment is anger that we don’t want to turn over to our Higher Power.

Sometimes we want to keep our anger. But we now have a program to help us let go of anger. –Keep It Simple | More…

Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they’re justified.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They’re a form of revenge. The problem is, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves. –More Language Of Letting Go | More…

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Carrying a grudge or a desire to get even with someone is a cancer inside us. It belittles us and holds back our spirit.

We break through our mental circles by revealing our anger to others. We talk with other recovering persons and let them know the details of our resentments.

We listen to their experiences and apply them in our program. As long as we keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves, we only recycle the same thinking system. When we take the risk and talk to friends, we build bridges that bring in new ideas. –Touchstones | More…

We must remember that we have no room for resentment in our new way of life. Rather than exhausting myself by fighting resentment with grim determination, we can reason it out of existence by uncovering its cause with a quiet mind. –A Day At A Time | More…

We need to remember that ‘justified resentments’ are just as burdensome as any other resentment. –Just For Today | More…

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Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort
of man he is…. If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly.

But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.

Rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have
taken cover before you switch on the light. Apparently the rats of resentment and vindictiveness are always there in the cellar of my soul.

Now that cellar is out of reach of my conscious will. I can to some extent control my acts: I have no direct control over my temperament. –CS Lewis/Mere Christianity | More…

After the first few steps in the Spiritual Life we realise that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God. | More…

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Punishment never heals. Only love can heal. Resentment is a primary cause of relapses into drinking and for us ‘To drink is eventually to go mad or die.’ –AS Bill Sees It | More… (p.98)

When we pray, “Forgive us as we forgive” this means “Father, grant to me that degree of forgiveness that I am willing to extend to my personal enemies.” Are we willing to say this to God? Can we be Christian and hold grudges and nurse hard feelings against anyone?

The pathetic thing about holding grudges is that they hurt us more than the fellow we don’t like, but, worse still, they separate us from God. The A.A. Big Book says that resentment is the number one killer of alcoholics. –The Upper Room/Hindsfoot | More…

Resentment is the “number one” offender. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease.
Resentment bars the sunlight from my soul. –Daily Reflections | More…

If I secretly hold a grudge or resentment against my brother or sister (a person). I will be a slave to that person until I let them go. –Elders Meditations | More…

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Carrying a grudge or a desire to get even with someone is a cancer inside us. It belittles us and holds back our spirit.

We break through our mental circles by revealing our anger to others. We talk with other recovering persons and let them know the details of our resentments.

We listen to their experiences and apply them in our program. As long as we keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves, we only recycle the same thinking system. When we take the risk and talk to friends, we build bridges that bring in new ideas. –Touchstones | More…

We want to see our past for what it really was, and release it so we can live today.” We need to remember that “justified” resentments are just as burdensome as any other resentment. –Just For Today | More…

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and
unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. –Big Book p.66 | More…

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