RESENTMENT

Resentment

Definition of Resentment:
Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.

Synonyms of Resentment:

Bitterness, indignation, acrimony, animosity, hostility, etc.

These notes are from recovery in AA and/or related 12 step programs.
Readers are encouraged to click external links for more detail.
We hope you find them helpful.

Love in fellowship.

Related image
Resentments are like stray dogs: If you don’t pet them, they will go away. –Sandi Bachom | More…

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. –Carrie Fisher | More…

Resentment is just another name for anger. When I begin to take positive action, I find myself letting go of those friendships which are unhealthy. —One Day At A Time | More…

Related image
When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person  by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. –One Day At A Time | More…

Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else –Big Book p.64 | More…

Hurt feelings are a part of life, relationships, and recovery. Resentment is anger that we don’t want to turn over to our Higher Power.

Sometimes we want to keep our anger. But we now have a program to help us let go of anger. –Keep It Simple | More…

Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they’re justified.
Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They’re a form of revenge. The problem is, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves. –More Language Of Letting Go | More…

Related image
Carrying a grudge or a desire to get even with someone is a cancer inside us. It belittles us and holds back our spirit.

We break through our mental circles by revealing our anger to others. We talk with other recovering persons and let them know the details of our resentments.

We listen to their experiences and apply them in our program. As long as we keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves, we only recycle the same thinking system. When we take the risk and talk to friends, we build bridges that bring in new ideas. –Touchstones | More…

We must remember that we have no room for resentment in our new way of life. Rather than exhausting myself by fighting resentment with grim determination, we can reason it out of existence by uncovering its cause with a quiet mind. –A Day At A Time | More…

We need to remember that ‘justified resentments’ are just as burdensome as any other resentment. –Just For Today | More…

Related image
Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort
of man he is…. If there are rats in a cellar you are most likely to see them if you go in very suddenly.

But the suddenness does not create the rats: it only prevents them from hiding. In the same way the suddenness of the provocation does not make me an ill-tempered man: it only shows me what an ill-tempered man I am.

Rats are always there in the cellar, but if you go in shouting and noisily they will have
taken cover before you switch on the light. Apparently the rats of resentment and vindictiveness are always there in the cellar of my soul.

Now that cellar is out of reach of my conscious will. I can to some extent control my acts: I have no direct control over my temperament. –CS Lewis/Mere Christianity | More…

After the first few steps in the Spiritual Life we realise that everything which really needs to be done in our souls can be done only by God. | More…

Related image
Punishment never heals. Only love can heal. Resentment is a primary cause of relapses into drinking and for us ‘To drink is eventually to go mad or die.’ –AS Bill Sees It | More… (p.98)

When we pray, “Forgive us as we forgive” this means “Father, grant to me that degree of forgiveness that I am willing to extend to my personal enemies.” Are we willing to say this to God? Can we be Christian and hold grudges and nurse hard feelings against anyone?

The pathetic thing about holding grudges is that they hurt us more than the fellow we don’t like, but, worse still, they separate us from God. The A.A. Big Book says that resentment is the number one killer of alcoholics. –The Upper Room/Hindsfoot | More…

Resentment is the “number one” offender. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease.
Resentment bars the sunlight from my soul. –Daily Reflections | More…

If I secretly hold a grudge or resentment against my brother or sister (a person). I will be a slave to that person until I let them go. –Elders Meditations | More…

Related image
Carrying a grudge or a desire to get even with someone is a cancer inside us. It belittles us and holds back our spirit.

We break through our mental circles by revealing our anger to others. We talk with other recovering persons and let them know the details of our resentments.

We listen to their experiences and apply them in our program. As long as we keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves, we only recycle the same thinking system. When we take the risk and talk to friends, we build bridges that bring in new ideas. –Touchstones | More…

We want to see our past for what it really was, and release it so we can live today.” We need to remember that “justified” resentments are just as burdensome as any other resentment. –Just For Today | More…

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and
unhappiness. To the precise extent that we permit these, do we squander the hours that might have been worthwhile. –Big Book p.66 | More…

Related image

We want to look our past in the face, see it for what it really was, and release it so we can live today. As we examine resentments, we may feel tempted to hold onto some of them, especially if we think they are “justified.” We need to remember “justified” resentments are just as burdensome as any other resentment. As our awareness of our liabilities grows, so does our responsibility to let go. We no longer need to hang on to our resentments. We want to rid ourselves of what’s undesirable and set ourselves free to recover. –Just For Today | More…

What will we need to set aside our resentments and hateful attitudes? Perhaps we have been passively waiting for the other guy to make amends. That only puts our enemies in charge of us. It would be better if we could say, “I am going to move on. The change that is needed for me to heal will come from within me. I will not put my happiness in another’s hands.” More than revenge, we want a life worth living – for ourselves and the ones we love. We can give our energies to that. –Touchstones | More…

If we want to change our lives, then we must change our thoughts first. One of the cornerstones of Fox’s philosophy was to live but one day at a time, to be responsible for one’s own thoughts and to clear up resentments, just as AA was to teach that “resentments are our number one cause of slips.” Setting others free means setting yourself free, because resentment in really a form of attachment.

When you hold a resentment against anyone, you are bound to that person by a cosmic link, a real, though mental chain. You are tied by a cosmic tie to the thing that you hate. Unresolved blame also means holding ourselves to a standard of perfectionism, the same level of mistakenness and confusion we demand of others. Remember you belong to the thing with which you are linked in thought, and at some time or other, if that tie endures, the object of your resentment will be drawn again into your life, perhaps to work further havoc. So the way is clear; you must cut all such ties, by a clear and spiritual act of forgiveness. You must loose him and let him go. By forgiveness you set yourself free; you save your soul. –Sermon on the Mount p.140 | More… 

The greater obstacle to your Higher Power or God is resentment. When you don’t forgive you completely cut yourself off from God. In recovery we can’t afford resentments because as they say it’s like drinking poison expecting the other person to die. –Anon

Related image

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s