LOVE

Definition of Love: an intense feeling of deep affection, closeness, fulfilment, light, breath
Synonyms of Love: sharing values, beliefs, divine, life goals, dreams, sacred, etc

These notes are from recovery in AA and/or related 12 step programs.
Readers are encouraged to click external links for more detail.
We hope you find them helpful.
Love in fellowship.

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Patience; kindness; generosity; humility; courtesy; unselfishness; good temper; guilelessness; sincerity — these make up the Supreme Gift of LOVE –Henry Drummond | More…

Just as anger breeds more anger, love cultivates more love, and each life that’s touched by love profits from it. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

Love has often been called the first rule of a spiritual life.
We often feel awkward in expressing love.

We’re learning through our spiritual development to be more fervent lovers and less perfectionistic in love. –Touchstones 27/10 | More…

Love, as distinct from being in love is not merely a feeling.
It is deep unity. –CS Lewis/Mere Christianity | More… (p.109)

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No one else is going to love and accept us until we come to love and accept ourselves.
We teach others how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. –Today’s Gift | More…

Let’s be gentle with ourselves and others, choosing to respond with. Non-judging love and acceptance instead of unrealistic demands of perfection. –Elisabeth L.

In a famous sermon, Henry Drummond described love as a spectrum with nine ingredients. Love is patience, kindness, and generosity; it is humility, courtesy, and unselfishness.

Finally, it is also good temper, gentleness, and sincerity.
Drummond called love the “greatest thing in the world.”

We have an opportunity to practice love when we strengthen the qualities that make us loving people. And if we are uncomfortable with love as a word, we can call it goodwill. –Walk In Dry Places/Mel B | More…

To find love, you must first find it in yourself. Then the whole universe will mirror it back. The beliefs of many years have kept you trapped in the illusion of separateness, apartness. –Journey To The Heart | More…

Love at first sight is easy to understand. It’s when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle. –Sam Levenson | More…

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Love received and love given comprise the best form of therapy. –Gordon W. Allport
I am lucky to have one close friend. I am blessed when I have several. –One More Day | More…

Love is greater than faith. Why?
Because the end is greater than the means.

What is the use of having faith?
It is to connect the soul with God.

And what is the object of connecting man with God?
That he may become like God.

But God is Love.
Hence Faith, the means, is in order to Love, the end.

Love, therefore, obviously is greater than faith –Contrasts/Henry Drummond | More…

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The Spectrum of Love has nine ingredients:—

Patience . . . . . .  “Love suffereth long.”
Kindness . . . . . .  “And is kind.”
Generosity . . . .   “Love envieth not.”
Humility . . . . . .   “Love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up.”
Courtesy . . . . . .  “Doth not behave itself unseemly.”
Unselfishness . .   “Seeketh not her own.”
Good Temper . .   “Is not easily provoked.”
Guilelessness . .    “Thinketh no evil.”
Sincerity . . . . . .    “Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.”

Patience; kindness; generosity; humility; courtesy; unselfishness; good temper; guilelessness; sincerity—these make up the supreme gift. –The Greatest Thing in the World/Henry Drummond | More…

Love conquers all; let us surrender to love. –Virgil
If you need proof, look around at your next meeting. The room will be full of people who know that love conquers alcoholism. –Keep It Simple | More…

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Love is not an easy emotion for us to feel. To show love, we can keep our actions simple by making a phone call, writing a letter, or sharing a hug. Let’s show someone we care. –Night Light/Amy E. Dean | More….

We are transformed by love. Love heals us and bonds us and promises us a life filled with moments of magic. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

How do we feel when someone says, “I love you”?
Words of love are inspirational.

They bring out the best in us; perhaps they even encourage us to move in new directions, set new goals, attempt the unfamiliar. Loving and being loved soften the hard edges of life. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

In childhood we learned to compete with our classmates, and this taught us to be critical of one another. No teacher tested us on how we expressed love; rather, we were pitted against other students for the gold stars.

Now we discover we are handling every situation more sanely now that we have realized the gift of serenity that accompanies our expression of love. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

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Our journey on this planet is not about “fixing” or controlling others But about loving them wholly, just as we want to be loved. –A Woman’s Spirit/Karen Casey | More…

Being loved, and knowing that we are loved, assures us of our connection to the world outside of ourselves. It affirms us as participants in the bigger picture. And all of us need to know that we count, that what we say and do matters to others, that we are contributing in an important way.

Often we feel unloved, and we search for love. We may have begged for love and still didn’t feel it. We have probably become very self-centered in our search.

Fortunately, the program helps us to give love to others; the paradox is that love is returned, tenfold. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

Filled with fear and shame he approached his home, his mind racing with words of apology. Before the boy could say a word, his father rushed to him with open arms and hugged his lost son in joy and love.

Love like this is the highest kind of love. It finds joy in others no matter what, because it recognizes the freedom of those we love, and doesn’t chain them to our own wants. It is the same kind of love God has for us. –Today’s Gift | More…  

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Love is selfless,
yet it exhilarates the self. –Sue Atchley-Ebaugh / Karen Casey-Worthy of Love | More…

In recovery, we are spiritual people because we believe in love.
We have faith in love.

Love is respect.
Love is truth with kindness.
Love is being willing to forgive and help others.
Love is thinking about how our Higher Power wants us to act.
Love is what we do best.

We have turned our will and our life over to love. –Keep It Simple | More…

We must not fear letting our loved ones experience new and separate challenges. Instead, let’s rejoice in the knowledge that we each have a particular calling, a unique destiny that has brought us together and will keep us together for just as long as “the big plan” calls for.

We can’t keep someone’s love for us when we’ve made them prisoners in our homes and hearts. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

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There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer, no disease that enough love will not heal; no door that enough love will not open; no gulf that enough love will not bridge; no wall that enough love will not throw down; no sin that enough love will not redeem…it makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble; how hopeless the outlook; how muddled the tangle; how great the mistake.

A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all. If only you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world.  –Emmet Fox | More…

Silence is the cornerstone of character.
Be still and know.

Anyone can verbally attack another.
Anyone can be a smart aleck.
Anyone can be angry and tell other people things that will hurt them.
Anyone can be sarcastic, devaluating and belittling.
It takes a Warrior to be silent.

Silence is so powerful.
Silence can be so loving. — Elders Meditation | More…

We can be certain someone close will be helped by hearing our words of love. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

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The act of loving someone else brings us together, closes whatever the gap between us. It draws us into the world of another, making richer the world we call our own. Love is the great equalizer.

Our love for one increases our capacity for loving others. Love heals another, and love heals ourselves, both giving it and receiving it.

Love from another acknowledges our existence, assuring us that we do count, that someone else values our presence. It is human to need these reminders, these assurances.

But our need for them is lessened each time we acknowledge another person in our midst. Our loving thoughts for persons close and far away always reach their destination. They do unify us. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

Thinking we are unlovable can sabotage our relationships with co-workers, friends, family members, and other loved ones. While growing up, many of us did not receive the unconditional love we deserved.

In recovery, we’re learning to take responsibility for our healing, regardless of the people around us. Just as we may have believed that we’re unlovable, we can become skilled at practicing the belief that we are lovable.

This new belief will improve the quality of our relationships. It will improve our most important relationship: our relationship with our self. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

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To be unconditionally loved is our birth right, and we are so loved by God. We desire just such a love from one another, and we deserve it; yet, it’s a human quality to look for love before giving it.

Too many of us are searching, rather than loving.
Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations.

It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood.
Love is a balm that heals. Loving lightens whatever our burdens.

It invites our inner joy to emerge.
But most of all, it connects us, one with another.

Love is the mortar that holds the human structure together.
Without the expression of love, it crumbles.

Our recovery program has offered us a plan for loving others, as well as ourselves.
Love will come to us, just as surely as we give it away. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

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Love is patient
Love is kind
Love does not envy
Love does not boast
Love is not proud
Love does not dishonour others
Love is not self-seeking
Love is not easily angered
Love keeps no record of wrongs
Love does not delight in evil
Love rejoices with the truth
Love always protects
Love always trusts
Love always hopes
Love always perseveres. –1 Corinthians 13:4-8

The need for love is universal.
Each of us longs for the affirmation that assures us we are needed, appreciated, desired.

With emotional and spiritual maturity comes the understanding that we are loved, unconditionally, by God. And the awareness of that love, the realization of its abiding presence, will buoy us up when no other love signals to us. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

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We begin to see that God’s love has been present all the time, just waiting for us to accept it. The Power of love has been with us all along.

Today, we are grateful to have survived long enough to become consciously aware of that love’s presence in our world and our lives. Its vitality floods our very being, guiding our recovery and showing us how to live. –Just For Today | More…

Learning to love myself has been one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn. I had to discover my capacity for self-care.

Life is a great experience when I surrender myself to the love around me. We all need to know that someone loves us and that we are lovable.

Everyone needs to know that they are sufficient. –One Day At A Time | More…

Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.
Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

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Love is a force.
It is not a result; it is a cause.

It is not a product; it produces.
It is a power, like money, or steam or electricity.

It is valueless unless you can give something else by means of it.
We find God and ourselves through touching the souls of one another.

Our most special gift is being loved and giving love. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

The gift of attention to each other is “passing on” the love of God.
In order to feel love, we have to give it away. We will know love when we give love.

We can heal one another. The program opens the way for our healing.
The beauty of the program, the beauty of God’s plan for us all, is that our own pain is relieved in the process of easing the pain of another.

Love is the balm. Loving others makes our lives purposeful. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

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Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many. As for the remainder–well, we have really disliked or hated them.

We A.A.’s find we need something much better than this in order to keep our balance.
The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody at all, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time. –As Bill Sees It | More… (p.230)   

Allowing ourselves to receive love is one of the greatest challenges we face in recovery.
Surrender to the love that is there for us, to the love that people, the Universe, and our Higher Power send our way. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

Love, and love alone, is capable of giving thee a happier life. –Beethoven
When our hearts are God-centered and filled with love and laughter, we’ll find no experience too difficult to handle.

No problem will evade its solution for long. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

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Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.

What we really have is a daily reprieve, contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Happiness cannot be sought directly; it is a by-product of love and service.

Service is a law of our being.
With love in your heart, there is always some service to other people.

A life of power and joy and satisfaction is built on love and service. –24Hours | More…

The base of all things is love, respect.
The greatest weapon of any Spiritual Warrior is love.

Love loves love.
Any human who is loving will be guaranteed respect.

Respect loves love.
We need to love and respect ourselves. –Elders | More…

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Human growth is an evolution from an absolute need to be loved towards a full readiness to give love. We can show our love in myriad ways – a genuine smile, a note of appreciation, an unexpected favour, perhaps flowers, or a phone call.

Warmly giving another attention in any form is an act of love, one that will be repaid in full by someone, at some time. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey. | More…

In our addiction, we could never get enough drugs, or money, or sex, or anything else.
Now that we’ve been given our Higher Power’s gift of love, what do we do with it?

If we clasp that gift tightly to ourselves, we will smother it.
We must remember that love grows only when it is shared.

We can only keep this gift by freely giving it away.
The world of addiction is a world of taking and being taken.

The world of recovery is a world of giving and being given.
In which world do we choose to live? –Just for Today | More…

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Before recovery, anger, self-pity, and sadness often filled our hearts.
In recovery, love fills our hearts. We begin to love life.

Love is really caring about what happens to other people.
We find much love in our program.

People really matter to us. We really matter to others.
The program teaches love because the program is love –Keep It Simple | More…

The Old Ones say, love is all anyone needs.
Love doesn’t go away nor can love be divided.

Once you commit an act of love, you’ll find it continues.
Love is like setting up dominos one behind the other.

Once you hit the first domino, it will touch the second one which will touch the third one and so on. Every love act or love thought has an affect on each person as well as touching the whole world.

If you live a life filled with love, the results will affect your friends, relatives and other people, even after you go to the other side.
So … Love. –Elders | More…

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Generally love is soft. But it also may sting. Love is forever changing.
All that love is, there’s much it is not.

Love is not shaming. Nor is it punishing. Love does not gloat, criticize, degrade, or diminish. At times we think we’re filled with love and yet we selfishly serve our needs before another’s.

And when we truly express our love to another, there’s no mistaking the warm glow that fills the body. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

The life of each A.A. and of each group is built around our Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. We know that the penalty for extensive disobedience to these principles is death for the individual and dissolution for the group. But an even greater force for A.A.’s unity is our compelling love for our fellow members and for our principles. –As Bill Sees It | More… (P.273)

The program teaches us to love those who come into our lives, even if we don’t like them. It teaches us forgiveness through our Higher Power.

We do not have to like our parents, but we can love them.
By the same token, we need to realize our parents love us in their special way.

They aren’t perfect – and neither are we. –Night Light/Amy E. Dean | More…

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Many of us didn’t develop healthy egos in our youth because we didn’t get feedback that affirmed us. We didn’t hear we were loved.

As adults, we’re scrambling to feel confident, to feel sure of our direction and our value to society. And we’re hoping to hear we’re loved.

We can be certain someone close will be helped by hearing our words of love. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

Consider the moon suspended in the sky, how it continues to come and go, follows its natural law, and never really loses face. Consider the sun, the stars, the seasons, how they refuse to abandon us, to let go of their hold on our lives.

We can keep in mind that we are part of a complex and loving system, and our grip can never be lost. –Today’s Gift © 1985/Hazelden | More…

Loving another wholly, purely, with no strings attached promises ecstasy, and yet seldom do we dare chance it. Real love will forever elude us unless we put our own selves aside and unabashedly love the self of someone else. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

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Have you ever been in love, had your heart best fast when you anticipated the call of your lover, felt the way the sun felt warmer on your face, the sky appeared bluer, the clouds more fluffy, and the sunset more grand?

What if you could fall in love with your life and feel that way each day?
What if we could take all that passion and focus it into falling in love with life?

Maybe that is what is meant by universal love. –More Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

There’s a world of difference between the idea of self-love and love of self.
Self-love is a reflection of an inflated ego.

It is the breeding around for hostility, arrogance, and a host of other character defects which blind us to any points of view but our own. Love of self, in contrast, is an appreciation of our dignity and value as human beings.

Love of self is an expression of self-realization, from which springs humility.  –A Day At A Time | More…

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God and the Universe have an unlimited supply of what we need, including love.
When we are open to receiving love, we will begin to receive it.

It may come from the most surprising places, including from within us.
We have denied ourselves too long.

It is time to continue the chain of giving and receiving by allowing ourselves to receive. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie 24/10 | More…

We are changed through loving and being loved.
Our attitudes are profoundly and positively affected by the presence of love in our lives.

Every response we make to someone changes us while it informs him or her.
The beauty of a loving posture is that it calls forth love in response.

The more love we give away, the more we receive. –Each Day A New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

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To be unconditionally loved is our birth right, and we are so loved by God. We desire just such a love from one another, and we deserve it; yet, it’s a human quality to look for love before giving it.

Too many of us are searching, rather than loving.
Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations.

It means full acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood.
Love is a balm that heals. Loving lightens whatever our burdens.

It invites our inner joy to emerge.
But most of all, it connects us, one with another.

Love is the mortar that holds the human structure together.
Without the expression of love, it crumbles.

Our recovery program has offered us a plan for loving others, as well as ourselves.
Love will come to us, just as surely as we give it away. –Karen Casey | More…

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The Elders say that what is important is peace and love.
To have material things is okay, but if not, that’s okay too.

To have peace and love is more important than anything material.
Our children will see the value of peace and love only if adults show they are a priority.

Too often we think we can offer material things and they will replace the time spent with our children. But the most important way to give our children peace and love is to spend time with them. –Elders | More…

Sometimes we think our life would be fine if that dream person showed up.
We must learn to trust, to be honest, to give help, and to love others.

The truth is, no one person can make our life wonderful—except us.
We hold happiness inside of us. It’s in our spirit. Look no further. –Keep It Simple | More…

The need for love is universal.
Each of us longs for the affirmation that assures us we are needed, appreciated, desired.

With emotional and spiritual maturity comes the understanding that we are loved, unconditionally, by God. And the awareness of that love, the realization of its abiding presence, will buoy us up when no other love signals to us. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

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There are times when we become angry or hurt or disappointed by the words or actions of our friends. When we react in any of these ways, we are focusing on them instead of us.

“He hurt my feelings,” we might say, or “she made me angry.”
These statements point out the error in our reasoning.

No one can “make” us feel a certain way. –One More Day | More…

Love wears many faces and it means not always getting our own way, or never doubting the other’s sincerity. We aren’t guaranteed happiness forever after, even when we know we’re loved.

But what giving and receiving love does promise us is growth, periods of peacefulness, some poignantly painful times, and many chances to demonstrate that another’s well-being is a priority, which in turn assures us of our own well-being. –Worthy of Love/Karen Casey | More…

When I came in, they told me, “Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself. -Anonymous | More…

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Real love is selfless love.
It expects nothing in return.

It is not conditional.
It doesn’t keep score.

It is too seldom given.
We need not be ashamed of our desire for love.

Nor need we feel shame that we’ve bargained for it.

But we do need to understand that the kind of love we seek can only be gained when we quit searching for it and simply offer it to all the people in our midst. –Each Day A New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends… –I Corinthians 13 | More…

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It takes a long time to learn to love ourselves.
Fortunately, our friends in this program do love us.

That will sustain us as we try to get the picture of ourselves back into proper focus. The thing we must get locked firmly in our mind is that it’s all right to be who we have been and who we are now.

We know how to repair the damage now. Our program shows us the way to recovery, the way back to genuine esteem in ourselves as God’s creations. God made us, and always loves us just the way we are. –In God’s Care/Karen Casey | More…

When I came in, they told me, “Let us love you until you can learn to love yourself. -Anonymous | More…

We sometimes find it difficult to accept a compliment.
When we act this way, we show a lack of love for ourselves.

God teaches us to love our neighbours as ourselves. Yet, before we can love anyone, we must believe we are worthy of the same love. –Today’s Gift 08/12 | More...

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We sometimes forget that we are responsible for whatever lasting impression we leave.
Our behavior does influence what another person carries away from our mutual experience.

We may have left unfavourable impressions during our using days. On occasion, we do yet. However, it’s progress, not perfection, we’re after.

Each day we begin anew, with a clean slate and fresh opportunities to spread good cheer, to treat others with love and respect –Each Day A New Beginning | More…

The life of each A.A. and of each group is built around our Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. We know that the penalty for extensive disobedience to these principles is death for the individual and dissolution for the group.

But an even greater force for A.A.’s unity is our compelling love for our fellow members and for our principles. A.A. world headquarters is our largest transmitter of the lessons of experience. –As Bill Sees It | More… (p.273)

The more we open to universal love, the more it will be there for us, embracing, loving, holding, guiding us. The more we learn to see it, the more it will be there–until we wonder why we never saw it before. –Journey to the Heart | More…

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We do not have to limit our sources of love.
God and the Universe have an unlimited supply of what we need, including love.

When we are open to receiving love, we will begin to receive it.
It may come from the most surprising places, including from within ourselves.

We will be open to and aware of the love that is and has been there for us all along.
We will feel and appreciate the love from friends and family.

We will be ready to receive love in our special love relationships too.
We do not have to accept love from unsafe people.

We have denied ourselves too long. We have been martyrs too long.
We have given so much and allowed ourselves to receive too little. We have paid our dues.

It is time to continue the chain of giving and receiving by allowing ourselves to receive.
I open myself to the love that is coming to me from the Universe. –Codependent No More/Melody Beattie | More…

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So long as we speak and try to perfect the language of love – for just so long may we count upon making whatever rendezvous with destiny that God would have us. –Bill W., June 1961/The Language of the Heart

The seed of God is in us. Pear seeds grow into pear trees, nut seeds into nut trees, and God seeds into God. –Meister Eckhart

The seeds that grow pear trees don’t yield perfect trees. Some of the fruit is ripe and juicy, some is hard and dry, some fruit never matures.

Yet the pear tree will be a good tree if it’s tended with care. So it is with us. Every part of us may not be perfect, but with care we can make the best person possible from the God seed that began us. –Night Light/Amy E. Dean | More…

Let us always love the best in others — and never fear their worst. –AA Co-Founder, Bill W., January 1962, “This Matter of Fear,”, The Language of the Heart/Grapevine

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