LETTING GO

Definition of Let go: to stop thinking about or being angry about the past
Synonyms of Let go: dismiss, discharge, remove, release, relinquish, surrender, etc

These notes are from recovery in AA and/or related 12 step programs.
Readers are encouraged to click external links for more detail.
We hope you find them helpful.
Love in fellowship.

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To let go is to forgive. When we let go, we let go of our need to always be right

If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing. God helps those who help themselves. –Daily Reflections | More…

Learning to let go does not mean to stop caring. It means that you cannot do it for someone else. Only you can listen, go to meetings, follow the steps. –Hour to hour | More…

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Just for today I will adjust myself to what is & not try to adjust everything else to my desires. I will take my “luck” as it comes & fit myself into it. –Just for Today | More…

When we learn to discern the difference between what we can change and what we can’t, we usually have an easier time expressing our power in our lives. Because we’re not wasting all our energy using our power to change things we can’t, we have a lot of energy left over to live our lives. –More Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

Try harder. Do better. Be perfect. Perfection always eludes us and keeps us unhappy with the good we’ve done.

Messages of perfectionism are tricks because we can never achieve their goal. We can start approving of and accepting ourselves. Who we are is good enough.

Our best yesterday was good enough; our best today is plenty good too. We can be who we are, and do it the way we do it – today.

That is the essence of avoiding perfection. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

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If we’re to grasp this new way of life, we must let go of the old habits of the past. No alcoholic can recover, for example, by choosing to remain in the old drinking environment.

We must also “recover” from other relationships and patterns that were destructive or kept us from our highest good. “Behold, I make all things new,” is the ancient promise.

As our thoughts and beliefs change, the old patterns drop away and the new life reveals itself to us. –Walk In Dry Places/Mel B. | More…

Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything. The Sixth Step is the last “preparation” Step.

Although I have already used prayer extensively, I have made no formal request of my Higher Power in the first Six Steps. I have identified my problem, come to believe that there is a solution, made a decision to seek this solution, and have “cleaned house.”

I now ask: Am I willing to live a life of sobriety, of change, to let go of my old self?  –Daily Reflections 04/06 | More…

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Let go of fear and your need to control.
Relinquish anxiety. Let it slip away.

Let yourself move forward.
Let yourself be moved forward.

Don’t think too hard about things.
The flow is meant to be experienced.

Within it, care for yourself.
You are part of the flow, an important part.

Work with the flow.
Work within the flow.

Thrashing about isn’t necessary.
Let the flow help you care for yourself.

Let it help you set boundaries, make decisions, and get you where you need to be when it is time. You can trust the flow, and your part in it. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie 08/07 | More…

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To let go isn’t to forget, not think about or ignore. It’s not giving in or giving up.

Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on.

It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting.

It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow.

It’s about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving.

Letting go is growing up, it is realising that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door and to clear a path and set yourself free. –Kimberly Kirberger | More…

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Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands.

The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone. Peace is possible for me only when I let go of expectations. –Daily Reflections | More…

Stop trying so hard to make it happen.
Making things happen is controlling.

Many of us overstep the boundaries from caring and doing our part into controlling, caretaking, and coercing. Controlling is self-defeating. It doesn’t work.

Do your part in relaxed, peaceful harmony. Then let it go. Just let it go. Force yourself to let it go, if necessary. “Act as if.”

Put as much energy into letting go as you have into trying to control. You’ll get much better results. Learn to let things happen because that’s what they’ll do anyway.

And while we’re waiting to see what happens, we’ll be happier and so will those around us. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

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Stop trying so hard to control things. It is not our job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, and life.

Stop trying so hard to do better, be better, and be more. Who we are and the way we do things is good enough for today.

Who we were and the way we did things yesterday was good enough for that day. Ease up on ourselves. Let go. Stop trying so hard. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie | More…

Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in between. One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar.

We may have many feelings going on when we’re in between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what’s ahead. These are normal feelings for the in between place.

Accept them. Feel them. Release them. Being in between isn’t fun, but it’s necessary. It will not last forever.

It may feel like we’re standing still, but we’re not. We’re standing at the in between place. it’s how we get from here to there. It is not the destination. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie 02/08 | More…

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Learning to let go does not mean to stop caring.
It means that you cannot do it for someone else.

Only you can listen, go to meetings, follow the steps. –Hour to hour | More…

There are times we must grab God’s hand and walk forward. When we let go, we let go of our need to always be right.

Letting go first takes place on the inside. Letting go allows us to change how we view what’s happening.

Often, all we really need is this change of attitude. This is the beauty of faith: it allows us to see the same thing in different Ways. –Keep It Simple 08/08 | More…

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It doesn’t take as much faith to believe that everything happens for a reason as it does to embrace the belief that I am who and where I am now, today, for a reason– even if I don’t know what that reason is and even if I don’t particularly like who and where I am today, a friend said to me.

When I can take that in, my dissatisfaction and negativity disappear, and I can proceed calmly and gratefully with my life. Faith and hope aren’t just for the future, try using them on today. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie 14/08 | More…

Exaggerating the negative element in our lives is familiar behavior for all too many of us. But this obsession is our choice, we can stop at any moment.

We can decide to let go of a situation that we can’t control, turn it over to God, and be free to look ahead at the possibilities for happiness. We learn to trust by giving over our dilemmas to God for solutions.

With patience, we will see the right outcomes, and we will more easily turn to God the next time. Crises will lessen in number and in gravity in direct proportion to the partnership we develop with our higher power.

The stronger our dependence on that power, for all answers and all directions, the greater will our comfort be in all situations. Serenity is the gift promised when we let God handle our lives. –Each Day a New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

We have learned there are times to let go of unrealistic plans and to let our Higher Power have a hand in our lives. By letting go we create our own well-being. –One More Day | More…

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Our old tapes tell us, “The difficult can be done immediately; the impossible will take a little longer.” Over and over we are told in The Program that we must “Let Go and Let God.”

We eventually do find serenity when we put aside our own will while accepting His will for us. –A Day At A Time | More…

There are times we must grab God’s hand and walk forward. When we let go, we let go of our need to always be right.

Letting go first takes place on the inside. Letting go allows us to change how we view what’s happening.

Often, all we really need is this change of attitude. This is the beauty of faith: it allows us to see the same thing in different Ways. –Keep It Simple | More…

In recovery, we learn that it is important to identify what we want and need. After identifying our needs, there is a next step in getting our wants and needs met.

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This step is one of the spiritual ironies of recovery. The next step is letting go of our wants and needs after we have taken painstaking steps to identify them.

We let them go, we give them up – on a mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical level. We often can have what we really want and need, or something better.

Letting go is part of what we do to get it. –The Language of Letting Go/Melody Beattie 31/07 | More…

Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands.

The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone. Peace is possible for me only when I let go of expectations. –Daily Reflections 07/07 | More…

We have learned there are times to let go of unrealistic plans and to let our Higher Power have a hand in our lives. By letting go we create our own well-being. –One More Day | More…

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Letting Go Quotes
We must let go of the life we have planned;
So as to accept the one that is waiting for us. –Joseph Campbell
It doesn’t take a lot of strength to hang on. It takes a lot of strength to let go. –J. C. Watts
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. –Lao Tzu
Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties. –Erich Fromm
You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go. –Karl Pilkington

Prior to walking through the doors of this program, I sought to control situations in order to dominate the outcomes. I manoeuvred myself into positions of power so that I wasn’t presented with any surprises.

Every situation was weighed for the probability of failure. I never took chances. This process took time and vast amounts of energy. My mind was in a constant cacophony.

Consequently, there was no room for growth, no space for acquiring new skills and no time to develop old ones. Working through Step One brought my whole crusade to an end.

Almost instantly I became aware of a path beneath my feet. I was, for the first time in the longest time, moving forward.

The scenery was changing and the outlook was brighter. –One Day At A Time | More…

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Pain, anxiety about health, and fear can plague our thoughts. Admitting things are out of our control can be so hard.

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to admit that we need help. Giving ourselves over to the care of our Higher Power is frightening when we have become used to taking care of our own needs. –One More Day | More…

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