Definition of Expectation:
A strong belief that something will happen or be the case.

Synonyms of Expectation:

Supposition, assumption, presupposition, presumption, surmise, prediction, etc.

These notes are from recovery in AA and/or related 12 step programs.
Readers are encouraged to click external links for more detail.
We hope you find them helpful.

Love in fellowship.


Give without expectation, accept without reservation, and love with hesitation.
Expectation is the root of all heartache. –Nishan Panwar

When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can’t improve the performance, we should lower the demands.

When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. What we expect from ourselves can change the next day.

We find out that life is for living. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed. –Easy Does It/Anonymous | More…

When we expect the worst from others, we often get just that.
The same goes for our expectations of ourselves.
And when we trust others, it too is returned. –Today’s Gift | More…


The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome.

We can plan the amends, but we can’t plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves.
In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past. –Just For Today | More…

In order to arrive at possessing everything, desire to possess nothing. Expectations can cause havoc in our daily living.

Facing life as fully involved travellers, without expectations about outcomes, is perhaps the brightest way to travel. Trusting the results to a larger plan allows us to relax and enjoy the adventure of the journey. –Body, Mind, and Spirit/Anonymous | More…


Limited expectations yield only limited results. We can boost our own performance by lifting our own expectations, even in the absence of support from others.

It may not be easy, but each of us is capable of changing a negative self-image to a positive one. It takes commitment to the program, a serious relationship with our higher power, and the development of positive, healthy relationships with others.

It’s true, we can’t control other people in our lives. And we can’t absolutely control the outcome of any particular situation. But we can control our own attitudes –Each Day A New Beginning/Karen Casey | More…

We hear about people who snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Some of us do that even in sobriety, experiencing failure just as success seems imminent.

We will work to succeed in all of our activities, with a reasonable expectation of success most of the time. We will expect and deserve the best. –Walk In Dry Places/Mel B. | More…


Having too high expectations is a set-up for disappointment. Having too high expectations was a familiar feeling before recovery. And it remains familiar to us. Dreams and aspirations aren’t wrong. In fact, they beckon us on to better and greater things. But dreams of what we can become through responsible choices are quite different from idle expectations of what will or should be. –Each Day A New Beginning | More…

My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my ‘rights’ try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my ‘rights,’ as well as my expectations, by asking myself, ‘How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?’ And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level– at least for the time being.” –Big Book p.452

As we realize our need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving. Working the steps helps us understand our own limitations and our humanity. We come to see our failures as human mistakes. As we learn to gently accept ourselves, we can start to view others with the same accepting and tolerant heart. We realize that we will never be perfect, that we will, at times, disappoint ourselves and others. We hope for forgiveness. –Just For Today |More…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: